Why has my husband changed his behavior like a light switch?

Since the birth of our first child 3 years ago my husband has been a selfish nightmare. He has not been plugged into our marriage or the girls. We have a 1 year old and a 3 year old, both were his ideas too. He has complained that his life has changed (can't play golf every weekend, etc). He has never helped at night or when a child has a stomach virus. He doesn't like to change diapers and doesn't feel comfortable babysitting until recently. I've started seeing a therapist and I think it freaked him out. Suddenly he is like a super hero. The contrast is day and night. I've asked him why he was verbally abusive to be before hand and he asks why I would even want to bring that up now but doesn't answer the question. It was Jekyll and Hyde - seriously. He was nice but selfish before children. He has been a total jerk since. Once again the second I started therapy he totally turned around. What are the possible causes you can think of?
Why has my husband changed his behavior like a light switch?
Sometimes I have seen in therapy, men who act badly but when the women goes to therapy they are scared they will loose her so what they do is for a short time, act right. but as soon as the women stops therapy they go back to who they really are. I have seen women do the same thing too. Act right when the husband goes to counseling and then act badly.
Why has my husband changed his behavior like a light switch?
I have no idea



Why are you even questioning this... If he's changed then accept it and work on your relationship
cause when a woman starts going to therapy, she has made steps to correct the things that are wrong in her life. If he is what is wrong? Then it would cost him a buttload of money if you divorced him.
He feels guilty.

BTW...it's not babysitting if you are the father...it's TCB
He doesn't like the thought of you talking bad about him to a therapist.



At that point he knows that not only are you talking bad about his actions but a professional therapist is most likely agreeing with you and validating your views. probably drives him crazy...
its can't only be your husband what have you done? also you have to consider i know it seems mean to say but that's the truth, ask him or yourself is your relationship with each other working, a therapist and bring him on the spot too, ask him did anythign happen in the last six month that he would like to tell you, with every reaction is from an action,



maybe he just didn't want kids also and feels like he's losing attention from you..or just its too much, some people just don't want kids and its hard to say, ask him also if this is the life that he wanted with you both,
he figured out that you were ready to leave and you might actually get the strength thru therapy to do it. good for you!! stand your ground!
im not sure, but i think having kids might have scared him and made him feel that there was no more of his alone time and so he went on the defensive instead of just accepting and loving the fact that he had children. But once you went to therapy i think he finally woke up to the fact that he was being a jerk and that he has a family to take care of and that he needs to be more giving.
He's changed b/c he realizes that the therapist will make u look internally at what's going on in ur life. If he's a jerk, he's a afraid the therapist will turn him in2 a leper and u won't want anything 2 do w/ him anymore. He's insecure and I would take advantage of that since it's working in ur favor. The truth of the matter is, he luvs u and is afraid he's going 2 lose u. Just roll w/ it.
He's finally banging your sister that he has been dreaming of doing for so long since you two met....Or he's on drugs. I hope this helps.
He got scared. Be happy that all it took was you seeking therapy to wake him up. My husband left me for 6 months and came back like a wounded puppy. We are still working on things and I'm very hopeful.



More men than not go thru this when the children are small. They just don't know how to deal with reality and they think that they should still be able to have as much fun as they want even though they have a family.



Make sure he knows how unhappy you've been and why. Tell him what you expect from him in your marriage and ask him what he expects. The lines of communication need to be set-up now while he is still scared you might kick him to the curb.
If you are that worried about him ask him to join you for a therapy session!
Guys never grow up. Some have arrested development at around 12, some of us others stop our emotional maturity at a later date. You got a 12 year old.

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